hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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