she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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