Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
