there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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