dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
