You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
