i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Randomize
