After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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