Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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