yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Four minutes until I can fart!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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