i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
