All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
