Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
