dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
