I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
What a dumb baby whore.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
