That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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