don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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