Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
