she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Someone shit on the floor
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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