whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
