I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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