Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize