i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
