And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
