We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
