My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found puke in my bra..
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
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