Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
