3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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