she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize