talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
