Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
