either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think my vagina is haunted
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
