I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My vagina just clenched in fear
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
