He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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