I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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