my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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