Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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