just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
