is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
