craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
