belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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