he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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