she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
