what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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