I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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