it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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