I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
