There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
In America we eat man semen.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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