Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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