I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
