Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
