Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
