Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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