Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
