we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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