she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
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other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
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I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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