you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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