hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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