Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
