I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
