Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize