Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
