Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So vagazzling was a success
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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