I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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