I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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