The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
