fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
