Need sex. Gaining weight.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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