HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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