Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
